It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
