Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
