Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
