Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
