marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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