You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
there is glitter all over my balls
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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