I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize