TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
