Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
