thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
