I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
