Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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