Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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