If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
