take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Two words: blizzard sex
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
