I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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