She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
