dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
