I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
