I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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