i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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