he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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