Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize