her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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