both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize