Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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