I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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