I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
