I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
