At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
