it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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