Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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