Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
