Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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