Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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