I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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