is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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