So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
