NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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