But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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