That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
