The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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