Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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