I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
