belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
