so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
