btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
