I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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