I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
