My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
