I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
