I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
