i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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