My brain says no but my pants say off.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
