How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
