On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize