I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
