They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
