Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
why is half of my head shaved?
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