talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
