hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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