after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
