I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
