i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
