Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
operation have a gay friend backfired
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
